Just For One Thing
by Damienne
Summary: NC-17. Nick is sick of hiding. And when he is ready to reveal his true self, Greg is right there beside him. Final smutty chapter is up!
1. Chapter 1

**Author: **Damienne Ross

**Rating:** NC-17, more for later chapters

**Pairing: **Nick/Greg

**Spoilers: **None

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything. Not Nick, or Greg, or the awesomely hot couplet they are together. I also don't own _Finger Eleven_'s "One Thing".

**Author's Note: **I have this incredibly annoying habit of beginning stories meant to be in a series, and never finishing them. I realize this is highly obnoxious, so this time I've written the entire thing beforehand and will just be posting it in sections, probably about a week apart. As of right now, there are three chapters, and I think I'm stopping there.

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* * *

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_If I traded it all_

_ If I gave it all away for one thing_

_ Wouldn't that be something?_

Bodies crashing, moans filling the air, sweat dripping off each other's bodies and onto the receiving participant, lips tasting skin and skin rising with gooseflesh.

He should have felt something, _anything_, but he didn't. Not a thing. In fact, he was subconsciously writing his grocery list.

"Nick, oh God, Nick!"

Eggs, milk, cheese…

"Nick, YES!"

Fresh fruit, canned olives, frozen pizzas…

"Yes, yes, yesohGod, _yes_!"

One six-pack of beer, a couple boxes of cereal…

"Baby, God, baby, I'm coming!"

Yogurt, wheat bread…

"Oh, I love you, Nick!"

Fuck. Oh no. There she was moaning and writhing underneath him and she just said _that_. Don't panic, man, He thought to himself. Just say it back, you don't have to mean it, just say it back.

"I should go. I have to be at work early."

Now he was fucked. Karen's breathing was barely returning to normal, her heart rate barely stabilizing. She was lying next to him on her double bed with bright red sheets, and for God's sake she'd just told him she loved him. He was an asshole, he knew it, he was going to Hell without a stop at Purgatory.

He disposed of the latex sheath. Thank the Lord for condoms and their ability to hide what is or is not in them. He removed himself slowly from the bed, gathering his jeans and faded T-shirt in the process. He didn't dare turn around, didn't dare look at Karen's face. He dreaded what he might see there; disgust, embarrassment, disappointment, he hated this experiment. He snuck out the front door and walked directly to his car, driving home to the safety of a place that knew all his secrets.

He'd known since he was twelve. All his older brothers were constantly running their mouths about all the hot girls at school, all his sisters were already putting on makeup trying to impress all the football players and older boys and guys with cars. At first he just didn't get it, thought he was not old enough to understand, that he'd grow into it and he would be just like his older brothers. But he didn't. He didn't have crushes on female teachers or notice the other girls, or want to find his father's playboy. Instead he made quick glances at the other boys when they were changing in the gym lockers and stroked himself daily thinking about his math teacher, Mr. Simms.

He knew something wasn't normal. It was Texas. Gay people didn't exist, women liked men and men liked women and that was the way it was. Nick thought he was crazy, that he must have something terribly wrong with him. He tried to blame everything he could think of: His parents, his siblings, the incident with the babysitter when he was nine. He decided that he'd ignore it, maybe if he went along with everyone else, it would fade. So he played football, he dated girls, he built up a reputation as being the guy every girl wanted and every guy wanted to be. He lost his virginity at seventeen to a cheerleader, the way it was supposed to be. And even then, he knew he was faking it. He knew it wasn't right, it didn't feel the way it should have.

But he continued to ignore it. He built himself a career, success in a field he loved that made his family proud. But he lived, every day, knowing he was faking his life, his very essence, ninety percent of the time. It worked for him, he did what he had to do, he was positive no one suspected a thing. He had a perfect system of keeping himself privately, secretly, clandestinely happy. And it worked for a long time.

But for that Goddamn lab tech.

That crazy blonde hair, that huge personality, that awful taste in horrid music, the way he laughed, the way he smiled, the way he pulled results off the printer and handed them to Nick, _everything_ made him shiver.

It was infuriating.

Infuriating in the sort of way that he'd considered transferring just to get away from that smell and that voice and, Goddamn, the way he was starring directly at Nick .

Greg was walking straight towards him, and Nick snapped back into character.

"What's up, dude?" Greg asked, hitting Nick playfully in the shoulder. Nick wished he wouldn't do that, it didn't help things much.

"Noth-uh-nothing. Just got lost in thought there, man, sorry," Nick answered, trying to remain composure.

"You sure? You look…worried, or something," Greg said.

"No, just tired. Worked a double yesterday, you know," Nick answered.

"Yeah, I know. I worked one last week. It messes you up, man. Well a bunch of us are going out for drinks later, want to come?" Greg seemed oblivious, thank God.

"Thanks G, but I've got plans." Nick didn't need to see Greg for any more time than was absolutely necessary, and there was no telling what might come out of his mouth after you got a few drinks into him.

"That's cool, man. Going out with Karen again?" Greg gave Nick one of his famous smiles.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah. We're going to see Cirque. She's been wanting to for a while," Nick responded, hoping his minor fumbling wasn't noticeable.

"Well have fun, dude. See you around."

Greg smiled and turned, walking away from Nick. Nick buried his head in his hands, ignoring the intrusive first signs of a headache behind his eyes. He wasn't entirely sure what severe torture felt like, but he was pretty sure he was living it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **See, I've kept my promise. The story is now, however, four chapters. Behold chapter two!

Review!

_Even though I know_

_I don't wanna know_

_Yeah I guess I know_

_I just hate how it sounds_

Pitiful, that's what he was. Pitiful and miserable and fake and…and freaking hard as a rock. Grissom, the brilliant scientist, had assigned Nick to mentor Greg in the field for the day. Alone. Just the two of them in the middle of the God forsaken desert somewhere walking around in 80 degree heat, sweating, bending over looking for small skeleton pieces. Five hours of this. Five hours of watching Greg, the thinnest layer of sweat covering his pale skin. Nick nearly moaned and had to shut his eyes every time Greg thought he'd found something. He'd bend over, and his low-rise jeans would lower even further, showing Nick the top of Greg's light blue boxer shorts before he'd stand up, dust himself off, and keep looking. By the end of the day, the only bone that mattered was the one in his pants, and he nearly leapt out of the lab when his shift was over and drove straight home.

Which is where he was when an abrupt knock came on his door. It was late, a little after midnight, and he immediately assumed it was Karen wanting an explanation. He felt terrible; she was a sweet girl, she deserved someone better than him. He couldn't hurt her, and figured his current predicament might be an asset to him should make-up sex arise, so he opened the door.

Nick instantly made a mental note to invest in a peephole, because standing right in front of him, clad in a pair of dark-wash blue jeans and a Pink Floyd T-shirt, was Greg.

"Hey," Greg announced cheerfully.

"Hey, Greg…" Nick immediately darted behind the door fearing his erect member would be way too obvious for even a straight man to ignore. "What, uh, what are you doing here?"

Greg help up a six-pack of beer. "Everyone else cancelled, so I figured we'd have our own party. Unless, oh God, is Karen here?"

"No, she couldn't make it actually." Nick couldn't lie to Greg, not with him standing in his doorway and looking so damn cute.

"Good, because I couldn't drink all these by myself," Greg said. "Can I come in?"

Nick was trapped. He couldn't say no, that would be rude, and Greg might ask questions. But he wasn't exactly in the best shape for entertaining company either. "Erm…yeah. Come on in." Nick attentively opened the door towards himself so he was still hiding behind it. "I'm just going to run to the bathroom."

"'K," Greg muttered.

"Shit, shit, shit," Nick mumbled to himself once inside the privacy of his own bedroom. "Good job, Stokes, you've officially managed to achieve full idiot status."

He stared at himself in the oversized bathroom mirror, willing himself to calm down, willing his body to cooperate with him, but nothing seemed to work. If anything, he was getting harder, and he was beginning to experience severe discomfort within the tight confines of his blue jeans.

Figuring there was only one way to relieve the tension and return to a semi-normal, just-two-guys-watching-the-game status, he'd need to relieve himself, and quickly. He began stroking himself underneath the hem of his boxers. The sound of the television being turned on briefly made it into his brain, but it wasn't long until he was fisting himself forcefully and the only thing he was even remotely capable of focusing on was Greg. Greg's shape, Greg's smell, Greg's smile…and then he was gone, pumping his seed into his own hand and quickly cleaning himself off after his release.

Tucking himself back in and regaining composure, Nick took a deep breath before joining his company in the living room, where Greg had already opened two bottles of beer and was sitting, with his legs sprawled out in front of him, watching a _Married with Children_ rerun on TV.

"Thanks, man," Nick said, grabbing one opened beer bottle and taking a seat on the couch opposite Greg.

"Mhm," Greg responded, apparently very interested in the plot of the television show. "Everything all right?"

"Huh? Oh…yeah," Nick thought hard, wondering how long he had actually been absent, and spoke the first excuse that popped into his head. "My brother called."

Greg looked directly at Nick and gave him a quizzical, knowing look. "At midnight?"

Nick hadn't thought about that, but spoke quickly anyway. "Yeah, well, he's on Central time."

He thought hard. He'd never gotten the whole time zone thing, but he was pretty certain his excuse would actually make it two in the morning where his brother lived. He hoped Greg didn't notice.

"Right, okay," Greg said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at Nick.

"What are we watching?" Nick asked, desperately trying to change the topic.

"Dunno really, whatever's on." Greg took a swig of his beer, his perfect lips wrapping around the neck of the bottle. The muscles in his neck rippled as he swallowed. Nick barely held back a moan before attempting to focus intently on whatever it was they were watching.

"It's interesting…" Greg began, cutting himself off mid sentence.

"Yes?" Nick encouraged.

"No, I mean, just how you and I are here, alone, with no one else around…it's interesting."

Nick swallowed hard. Was he as transparent as he'd feared?

"Oh yeah?" He asked innocently.

"Yeah," Greg responded, glancing at Nick.

"Hm," Nick managed.

They sat in silence for a few moments, both attempting to be interested in the television program.

"You know," Greg began again. Nick tensed immediately. "I'm known for my own talking, but I'm actually also an excellent listener."

"What makes you think I need someone to listen to me, Greg?" Nick asked without looking at him.

Greg shrugged. "Dunno, just a feeling I guess."

"Feelings can be wrong, G," Nick offered.

"Usually not," Greg responded simply. "I think it was you who told me instincts are usually correct."

Nick shrugged, staring so intently at the TV screen he almost forgot to blink until his eyes watered, reminding him.

"Fine," Greg began. "How about if I share?"

"If you want, go ahead."

"Okay, well maybe you can help me out with this…problem. I figure it's one that's right up your alley." Greg didn't flinch, not a muscle.

"My alley, Greg?" Nick asked, his heart pounding.

"Yeah, relationships and all. That's your thing, right?" Greg shifted positions so that he was facing Nick, but didn't wait for a response. "See, I'm interested in this person. Really interested. But I'm afraid I don't know how to approach the idea of finding out if they're interested in me too."

"Hm," Nick said, allowing himself one quick glance towards Greg. "Have you tried…asking her?" Nick let himself relax a little. This was fine. Just two buddies talking about relationships and dating. Greg was just looking for some advice from the person everyone thought was the expert on such matters. Innocent. It was fine.

"Oh, see, well that's the problem," Greg said, pouting slightly with his bottom lip.

"What's the problem?" Nick took a sip of his beer…

"It's not a 'her'."

…And then nearly choked to death on it. No way. No way in Hell. Greg Sanders, the lover of blondes and surfing and rock bands and everything so cliché about straight men, did not just say that.

Nick stared directly at the rug on the floor, and when the few moments of silence got to be too much to bear, he spoke the first syllable that came to mind. "Oh," he managed.

Greg seemed entirely too calm, simply continuing on the same conversation path as if he'd just announced plans to take a vacation to Hawaii. "Yeah, so there's this guy. He's pretty great, sexy as Hell, and I think we have fun together."

Nick didn't dare move.

"But I think he's confused," Greg said, moving closer to Nick. "See, I think he's afraid of himself, who he really is. I think he thinks he wouldn't be accepted, because I get the feeling that's how he was raised. But I really want him to know that, if he did want to be who he really is…"

Nick's heart was racing so fast he was convinced it was visible through the thin fabric of his shirt. He intended to glance up only briefly at Greg, but the intensity he saw in Greg's eyes made it impossible for him to look away.

"If he did want to be who he really is," Greg started again. "That'd be alright with me."

Nick simply stared at the younger man. What else was he supposed to do? Thoughts raced through his head. How did he know? Did everyone else know? Why Greg? Why now? Sweat began to bead on the back of his neck and breathing seemed to be incredibly difficult all of a sudden.

"Greg…I don't know what you're…" Nick cut himself off. Even _he_ didn't have enough denial in him to worm his way out of this one. He squirmed a bit in his seat, let out a puff of air, and turned away from the other man.

"It's okay, Nick." Greg ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair. "You don't have to say anything. I just thought I'd let you know."

Nick was bright red. A flush ran through his entire body. Greg took another drink, scooted forward on the couch and made a motion to stand up before Nick stopped him, silently throwing a forceful arm in front of him.

"Wait," Nick said.

Greg sat back down.

"How…?" Apparently he was having trouble forming sentences.

Greg sighed in response. "I just…know, Nick."

"Does, I mean, do you think everyone else knows?" Nick asked nervously.

"I don't think so, no." Nick didn't look convinced. "I mean, I guess it's possible that they do - it's our job to observe after all - but I've never heard anyone say anything."

"How long have you known?" Nick asked sheepishly.

"A while, Nick. I just didn't want to bring it up; I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. But then I started thinking, and I wondered if you really _had_ anyone to talk to about it. I mean, someone who wouldn't judge you."

Under a layer of sweat and an apparent flush, Nick couldn't help but feel a little touched. Somehow, sitting in his living room hearing for the first time that his friend knew his deepest secret was easier for him than he would have expected.

"But, Greg, how?" He shifted so he was facing Greg again and unconsciously clenched his hands into fists. "How did you know?"

"Nick, I know what you're feeling. I've been there. I guess I can just…sense it in other people."

He began feeling a sense of something strange, something he hadn't felt in a while. Hope maybe? Excitement? Relief? He couldn't place it.

A long silence filled the room. Greg seemed completely relaxed, like he had conversations like this all the time. Nick never imagined this conversation would proceed like this, never imagined this conversation at _all_. He didn't know how it was supposed to go or what he was supposed to do, so instead he clung to the neck of his beer bottle and slowly ran his left index finger up and down its ridged texture.

"I'm not ready for people to know yet, G," He said finally.

Greg nodded slowly.

"I know," he said.

Another silence ensued, this one easier.

"Greg…"

Greg nodded.

"You're interested? In me?"

Greg nodded again. "Yeah, Nick. I have been for a while now. I just didn't want to force anything."

A slight sense of panic began to settle in to Nick's chest, in the very core of him; the part of him that was so present when he was growing up, when he first learned how to hide everything. He needed time. He'd had his entire life, but he needed a little more.

"Greg, I feel the same," Nick finally said.

Greg's expression didn't change much, but it seemed his entire complexion was suddenly a little brighter.

"But I'm not ready yet," He continued. "I will be…just not yet."

Greg nodded and reached out to grab Nick's hand. He gave it a small squeeze.

"I'll wait, Nick," he said.


	3. Chapter 3

Pairing: Nick/Greg

Rating: NC-17 (for earlier and later chapters)

Author's Note: I'm feeling very accomplished here, people! I've managed three chapters of a story without forgetting about it! There will be smut, just not in this chapter, which is mostly romance and angst.

Enjoy! Review! Etc.!

_If I sorted it out_

_If I knew what I'd found_

_Just one thing_

_Wouldn't that be something?_

"Hello? Cisco, hey!" Laughter. "Yeah, I know, it has been a while, I've been so busy, you understand." Pause. "Yes." Pause. "Yes, I know, I missed you all during the holidays as well." Longer pause. "I'm working on it. I know." Nick tilted his head downward. "I'm trying to get a week off in February, but I don't know with the way things have been going." Another pause. "No, dad, it will just be me. Yes, alone." This tension during this pause was palpable. Laughter, forced this time. "Well I really have to go, but I'll call later this week, 'k?" Pause. "Okay, bye, Cisco."

The previously energetic man looked as if he had just run a double marathon. Before, his fresh blue button-down shirt and form fitting jeans had been perfect, now they actually looked wrinkled. The slight lines on his handsome face seemed deeper, more noticeable. He looked tired when, just a few moments ago, he'd seemed as if he was ready to take on the world.

"Everything okay, Nick?" Greg asked, moving further into the layout room from the doorframe where he had been standing, eavesdropping, listening to Nick's one-ended conversation with his father.

Nick looked up sharply having not noticed Greg was there. "Yeah, yeah. That was just my dad. Sorry, I know it's not appropriate to take personal calls at work."

Greg shrugged. "Doesn't bother me. I can't say the same for Grissom, but he's out on assignment anyway."

"Hm," Nick said, half-heartedly.

"Hey, Nick, let me ask you something," Greg said, simultaneously trying to convince himself it wasn't his place.

"Sure," Nick responded.

"Well, Sara told me you worked a shift on Christmas Eve, and a double Christmas Day. Sara did too, but that's to be expected," Greg mustered a laugh. Nick stared at his crime scene photos. "I had to practically beg Grissom to give me a few days off to go home and see my family, but weren't you supposed to be off?" Nick didn't seem to want to answer, so Greg jumped back in. "I mean, it's none of my business really, I was just wondering." He swallowed hard. He knew he shouldn't have brought it up what with the confusing place their relationship was already in, but he couldn't help himself.

"Yeah," Nick sighed. "I mean, I was off. But things always get crazy during the holidays and we needed extra hands." He gathered his photographs together a little too violently and placed them back in their manila envelope. "I'm due for a testimony in court soon, G. Should get ready," He muffled.

Nick walked past Greg so quickly it created a draft. Probably, no definitely, he should not have pried so much. But Nick, this confusing, intriguing enigma was like cocaine to an information junkie like Greg. He was bound and determined to figure out what was going on in the older man's head.

The refrigerator door made an abrupt sound as he closed it violently, the glass bottles in the side shelves clanking together in protest. Nick twisted the bottle-cap off the cold beer in his hand, causing the rough edges to cut into his skin. Was a man not allowed to work a holiday? Could he not just want to help out during a high-crime time of year? Did he have to have an ulterior motive? And couldn't he just forget about everything, all the pressure, for a while? Just a little while?

He was angry. Not at Greg, he knew Greg well enough to know the younger man couldn't help himself; asking questions, knowing answers, was his basic nature. He wasn't even mad at his family, though he knew he should be, was _allowed_ to be. He was mad at himself, because it was him, Nicholas Stokes, who couldn't seem to figure things out. It was him who needed a friend, a younger friend, a _lab tech_ to bring his own sexuality to his attention.

His heart skipped a beat at that thought, at the memory of that conversation with Greg. It had been two weeks since Greg sat in his living room, on the couch where Nick now sat. Two weeks since he discovered that someone, anyone at all, knew his biggest secret. Two weeks since the person he'd been in love with for years confessed his own desire for Nick. It all felt a like a dream; a wonderful dream, but a dream nonetheless. And he'd hadn't had the time to process it, what with work and his family and holidays, and just trying to maintain the sanity he felt slowly slipping away.

But now, he felt trapped, like there was just no way out of thinking about it. He felt so many emotions: Relief, that someone knew his secret. Joy at who that someone was. Excitement that they requited his romantic feelings. Anger that he hadn't had the balls to tell Greg first. Confusion, because he didn't know where to go from here. And terror, complete terror, at what all of this meant for him, for his life, his family, his _identity_.

He picked at the plastic coating on the outside of the beer bottle as a whirlwind sped through him, wreaking havoc on his entire body. He felt overwhelmed. He knew he should have been fine, totally content with the way things were, but so much about his previously organized, simple, routine life was now disheveled and messy.

His hands seemed to be moving without consulting his brain first. He reached for his cell phone, and punched in the numbers he was ashamed he knew by heart.

After several rings, a low voice on the other end spoke.

"Hello?"

"Greg, I woke you. I'm sorry." His voice was stronger than he thought it would be.

"Nah, it's fine," Greg responded. "What's up?"

Nick hesitated for a moment and Greg briefly entertained the possibility that Nick had hung up.

"How would you feel about coming over here tonight a few hours before shift?" Nick finally asked.

"Sure," Greg said without hesitating. "Seven or so?"

"Seven sounds good," Nick responded. "See you then."

Nick hung up the phone, feeling suddenly a little calmer.

"Nick, is everything okay?" Those were the first words Greg spoke when Nick let him into his house. Clearly Nick did not look as put together as he thought.

"Sure," Nick responded.

"Sure?"

"Sure, yes, fine."

"Nick, 'sure' is what you say to someone when you want to come across as happy and fine, but you really have something you desperately want to get off your chest."

Nick looked inquisitively at Greg.

"Been there, remember? Why don't you and I sit down, Nick."

Being invited to sit on his own couch was an odd sort of experience, but Nick obliged anyway and took a seat on the light green couch opposite Greg.

"Greg, let me ask you something." Nick said, slightly emotionless.

"Sure," Greg replied.

Nick took a quick breath. "How do you deal with it?" Greg's expression let Nick know he didn't understand the question. "Being out," Nick continued, "In this world, with everything that implies."

Greg briefly scratched an imagined itch on the back of his neck, thinking of the best way to answer the question. Nick was clearly not in great shape, and Greg thought he knew why. He understood.

"You…learn, I guess," Greg finally spoke up. "I mean, you accept that there are going to be people who have their own opinions about you, and that may suck, but that's just life. Besides, Nick, I'm not really 'out'. I mean, no one at the lab knows."

"Is that because you don't want them to know or because it's never come up?"

Greg chuckled briefly at the idea of a conversation in which the topic of Greg's sexuality would have randomly arisen. "A little of both I guess, Nicky. I'm not exactly eager for everyone at work to know, I guess. It changes…changes the way people see you. Not necessarily in a bad way, it's just…different."

Nick nodded. He knew as much, it was part of the reason he'd been so afraid to tell anyone.

"When did you know, Greg?" Nick asked without thinking. He was probably being too forward. "I'm sorry, I know that's not my place, but I'm…"

"It's fine, Nick," Greg responded, placing a hand on one of Nick's. "You can ask me anything you want. I didn't know until I went to college. I mean, I had ideas before then, but I'd been too afraid to address them. So when I got to college, and it was this free world…it felt okay to explore it, I guess."

Nick nodded.

"I thought it was just a phase-type thing at first," Greg continued, sensing that Nick wanted more. "I thought I might just need to get it out of my system and that would be that. But that wasn't the case."

"What happened?" Nick's voice was small and frail, like a sick child's.

"I sort of…fell in love. Not with one person, just with the freedom of it all. It's terrifying when you first realize what you're facing, but when it's been you all along, it's like all of a sudden you aren't shackled to everyone else's perception of you, you know?"

Nick nodded.

"So I just…stopped dating women. And I didn't really even have to come out, people just realized that I was gay and that was that. I was lucky I guess." Greg shrugged.

"Didn't any of your friends…have a problem with it?" Nick asked.

Greg shook his head. "Nope, because the ones that did turned out to not be my friends after all." Nick smiled. "Most of them were totally fine with it, but some weren't. Then there were some who said they weren't bothered by it, but didn't talk to me anymore. I think they were afraid I was a different person all of a sudden."

"But what if…" Nick began. "What if all your friends are the type of people who would freak out and run? What if none of them stood by you and they all left? What if I was left with no one?"

Greg wanted to cry at that statement. The idea that Nick thought he had no one who could love him for who he truly was was devastating.

"That could never happen, Nick," Greg said. "That could never happen because _I'm_ your friend, Nick." Now Nick wanted to cry. "Besides me, Warrick is your best friend, and Sara and Catherine and Griss and Brass, they'd all accept you for who you are."

"How do you know, G?" Nick managed with a small voice.

Greg shrugged. "Because they've all seen too much of the horror that people are capable of doing to each other to not realize that accepting someone for who they are, regardless of anything, is the most important thing you can give someone. It's how we keep peace, it's how we find happiness. It's everything."

Nick looked up at the younger man. In all of Greg's known quirks and talents, he'd had no idea the lab technician was capable of speaking such inspiring words. He wanted to say something, anything, but words wouldn't come. They sat in silence for a few minutes before he found his voice.

"What about your family?" Nick asked, staring squarely at the rug below his feet.

"They know," Greg responded, unafraid. "They were fine with it pretty much from the beginning. Apparently everyone in my family knew but me." Greg laughed and just the sound of it made Nick smile.

"But not everyone is that lucky," Greg said, and Nick's expression changed.

"No," Nick said. "No, not everyone is that lucky."

"Is that why you worked yourself to death over the holidays?" Greg asked point-blank. "So that you wouldn't have to deal with your family?"

Nick nodded. He didn't think he would, didn't mean to, but he did so without thinking.

"It's…easier," Nick said. "If they knew, G…" He trailed off and shook his head. Greg could have sworn he saw Nick involuntarily shiver.

"I sort of figured they were…that kind of family," Greg said.

Nick shut his eyes quickly and took a quivering breath before continuing. "They love me," he said. "They wouldn't…disown me or anything. It's just, I'd suddenly be the son they didn't want to talk about, you know? The one they were ashamed of. I don't think I could handle that."

Nick made eye contact, and Greg almost startled at the amount of pain, sadness, he saw in the older man's eyes. Nick was strong, and brave, and fearless. It was odd to see him looking so vulnerable. It was out of place, like a songbird in a dark painting; not wrong, just misplaced. He wanted to take away that pain.

"Nick," He began, staring directly into Nick's eyes. "As much as I wish I could say that you're wrong, that they'd love you and respect you no matter what…I've seen too much of the world. And I so wish I could tell you that it doesn't matter what they think, but it does. To you it does, and I understand that. So all I can really say is that what matters most, in the end, is not what makes your family happy, or your friends. If you spend the rest of your life hiding from yourself, you're going to wake up one day and realize that you spent so much time worrying about people's conceptions of you that you never considered what it is _you_ want."

Nick smiled with his whole face, even the eyes that weren't even trying to hold back his tears anymore. "G, where did you get all this insight?" He asked.

"Life," Greg laughed.

"Life," Nick responded, more seriously.

And in that moment, he couldn't help himself. Uninhibited, accepted, he closed the distance between Greg and himself and met his lips to Greg's.

Because _he_ wanted to.


	4. Chapter 4

Pairing: Nick/Greg

Rating: NC-17

Author's Note: Ha! I did it! I actually finished a multi-chapter story! Thanks for all the great reviews so far, and enjoy the smutty last chapter.

_It's nothing I planned _

_And not that I can_

_But you should be mine_

_Across that line_

Forever. That's how long he had been waiting. Forever, his whole life, his entire existence. Forever. He'd waited forever for love, true love, the kind whole books of poetry are written about.

He was convinced he had it in second grade, before the concept of sexuality caught up to him, when he wrote a valentine to Lucy, a small blonde girl of the same grade who Nick shared a coat cubby with. They had one play date in which Nick confessed he was going to marry her. Lucy said the same, and they were happily, innocently "in love" for the rest of the year. She wasn't in his class the next year and he forgot about her.

Rebecca, the cheerleader he lost his virginity to his Junior year, told him she loved him. He thought it meant something profound, that just by saying it it must be true. He avoided analyzing that he felt nothing for the girl, not a twinge of anything but admiration and slight pity that the boy she gave her everything to could never really love her back.

He learned in the relationship with Rebecca that love was fabricated and gaudy; for show. He said it many times afterwards, to girlfriends who were always the first ones to offer the sentiment. He responded the way you automatically respond, "You too" when someone says "Happy new year". It was sad, pathetic really, that he knew this of love. He wanted more, always, wanted something to sing over, dance over, lose his mind over.

And it was ridiculous, funny, humorlessly ironic that true love, the kind you see in movies and read about in books, had been directly in front of him for years. Nick had decided that denial in a person like him was more powerful than love in anyone else. He didn't have the brain space to analyze whether or not this was normal, because he was so unequivocally, shamelessly, gapingly in love with the lab tech working in the glass-lined room across from him to think of anything else. He felt giddy, he felt naive, he felt stupid, all at the same time. Every once in a while, Greg would look up to see Nick staring at him, and just give him this incredible, knowing smile that, naturally, Nick tried to pretend he didn't notice.

But there was no use. He was Romeo to Greg's Juliet, Leo to his Kate, Elizabeth to his Mr. Darcy, whatever clichéd way you wanted to phrase it. As much as he tried to remain suave and in control, he was slowly losing cognition of his body. He swore even the ability to feel pain was dulled. And it was making him act entirely on impulse.

Walking into the DNA lab, wordlessly he grabbed Greg's hand and dragged him into the locker room, checking there was no one to see them before he put both hands firmly on either side of Greg's face and pulled him in for a hard, desperate kiss lasting as long as their lungs would permit.

"Well, hello to you too," Greg said, delighted and out of breath, when they finally broke apart.

"I've been wanting to do that all day, G," Nick responded.

Greg shrugged, innocently, "Interesting, I've been so absorbed in samples all day I _totally_ forgot you were even in the building," he teased.

Nick smiled and rolled his eyes before pulling Greg in for another long, scathing kiss. Tongues explored every nook and cranny of each other's mouths, and hands roamed up and down "safe" areas of each other's bodies; back, neck, arms.

"Someone could see, Nick," Greg said, looking around to make sure no one was walking by.

"Tonight, my place, six o'clock," Nick whispered in Greg's ear, completely ignoring Greg's concern.

"Does this mean you're ready, Nick?" Greg asked, voice tainted with one part humor, one part complete seriousness.

Nick just nodded. "See you later," and he left Greg standing, dumbfounded, in the locker room, lips swollen and cheeks flushed.

Greg had knocked exactly at six o'clock. Nick decided his annoying habit of being exactly on time was just something he was going to have to get used to, and he threw on a tight fitting sage green T-shirt before answering the door to a beaming Greg, holding a bottle of white wine.

"You don't really seem like the flowers type of guy," Greg said, holding out the bottle of wine to Nick.

Nick chuckled, taking it from him. "And I never pegged you for a wine guy."

"Hey, can't I be a connoisseur at heart?"

Nick laughed at the younger man. "Come in."

Once inside the doorway, the men exchanged a quick kiss before Nick invited Greg to sit down at the small dining room table in Nick's kitchen. He proceeded to explain how properly prepared black eyes peas were an essential key to any meal, and just how much sugar is too much to add to sweet tea. Greg was finding his Texas charm…charming, and any initial uncertainty quickly faded as the boys sat down for dinner and exchanged easy conversation about work, friends, vacation plans, whatever.

"Nick, let me just ask, just for the sake of curiosity…" Greg began, trailing off.

"Mhm?" Nick encouraged, taking a small sip of wine.

"What made you change your mind?" Greg responded in a soft, slightly uncertain voice. "I mean, what made you decide you were…ready?"

Nick laid his fork on the side of his plate and took a deep breath.

"Something you said, G," He began. "About hiding from myself, and never allowing myself to be happy. I just…wanted that to change. I wanted to be able to _enjoy_ myself, and more importantly, I really, really wanted…you. I know what you said, but I was still a little afraid you'd get sick of waiting for me, G."

Greg placed one of his hands over one of Nick's, which had unknowingly clenched into a tight fist.

"That's not true, Nick," He said. "I would have waited forever." Nick smiled and Greg gave his hand a squeeze. "Don't get me wrong, though, I'm not unhappy you chose sooner rather than later."

Both men laughed, and finished up their meal before Greg began clearing the dinner plates. Nick couldn't help but notice how fitting, how _appropriate_ it looked to have Greg walking around his kitchen. There was nothing about it that didn't belong.

The muscles on Greg's back rippled through the fabric of his shirt, and before he knew it, Nick was walking up behind Greg, placing one hand around the younger man's stomach and using his other hand to stroke Greg's back.

Greg relaxed into Nick and let out a sigh. "Hey there," he said.

Nick placed a kiss to Greg's collarbone and slowly trailed up to his neck, finally reaching his earlobe, flicking it with his tongue. Greg moaned and threw his head back.

Nick moved both hands to Greg's hips and squeezed, teasing Greg's ear simultaneously. Greg threw one hand behind him and ran it through Nick's hair before Nick spun him around and kissed Greg forcefully on the mouth. Greg's tongue snuck out and teased Nick's bottom lip, requesting entry which Nick granted. Greg's mouth tasted smoky, and well as the lingering taste of white wine was present as well. But there was something else, too; Greg tasted how he smelled; fresh and distinctive, and purely _Greg_.

Nick moved his hand down to cup one of the globes of Greg's ass, making him giggle, before Nick thrust himself, his whole body, into Greg, and the men ground their erections against each other.

Nick moaned loudly, and Greg kissed him again until they ran out of air. Greg rested his forehead against Nick's as they continued to move desperately against each other.

"Nick…" Greg began, "If this is going too fast…"

Nick cut him off with another heart stopping kiss, and any doubt Greg might have had that the older man didn't want to continue with their little interaction quickly flew out the window.

"Good," Greg gasped. "Because I am about five seconds away from dragging you into your bedroom and blowing the fuck out of you."

Nick smiled down at Greg, before Greg grasped his hand, and led Nick through the unfamiliar house into what he could only assume was Nick's bedroom. Nick didn't protest, so he guessed he was right.

Once inside, Greg slammed the door and pulled Nick's shirt over his head before quickly discarding his own. Nick's chest was now slammed against Greg's as they kissed again; flesh to flesh, skin to skin. The heat radiating from Greg's body was astounding to Nick, and Nick's touch was so electric to Greg he was surprised there weren't actual electric sparks flying between them.

Nick thrust his tongue into Greg's mouth and let his hands roam all over Greg's naked back, over bones and muscle and elevated scar tissue . Greg had one hand around Nick's neck, the other roaming through his hair, before he moved his right hand down Nick's chest, slowly, finally reaching his pants and stroking Nick's growing erection through the denim.

"Greg," Nick moaned into Greg's mouth.

"Want to taste you, Nicky," Greg responded.

Nick moaned again. Just the man's words made him want to throw Greg onto the bed.

Nick smiled as Greg pushed him backwards onto the mattress, where he made short work of taking Nick's pants and boxers off, sliding them over toned legs, before removing his own jeans. Beginning with his shins, Greg kissed and licked and sucked Nick, past his knees, over his thighs. Greg encircled Nick's member with his hand, not moving, just holding, _feeling_ Nick's arousal. Greg loved that he was the one to make Nick so hard. Teasingly, he sucked the sensitive crook where Nick's thighs met his pelvis.

Nick moaned half in arousal, half in frustration. "G, God, Greg…" He chanted.

"You ready for this, baby?" Greg asked.

"So ready, G," Nick said in a low, clouded voice. "Wanted you…so long…"

Slowly, Greg licked a stripe across the slit on the top of Nick's member, making him buck and moan Greg's name. Greg smiled shamelessly before he took Nick's impressive girth almost fully into his mouth.

"G, _God_," Nick moaned. He didn't think he'd ever felt anything so good, so amazing. Greg's hot, wet mouth encircling him made him see stars. He ran his hand through Greg's short hair and Greg placed one hand firmly on Nick's hip to keep him from thrusting into his throat as he continued to take Nick into his mouth.

Nick moaned in frustration when Greg's mouth left him, only to moan for a very different reason a few moments later when he began licked and sucking Nick's balls, still stroking him gently with his hand.

"Fuck, Greg, _fuck_," He said loudly.

Greg hummed. "You like that, baby?" He said wantonly.

"Fuck, G, you're…incredible…I'm gonna… _fuck_!"

Greg took Nick into his mouth again and in one move, Nick was lost, shooting his seed into the back of Greg's mouth.

Greg swallowed Nick's juices happily and released him with a loud pop. The ecstasy still circling through Nick was unlike anything he'd ever felt before, and Greg slowly kissing and biting and licking his way up Nick's body didn't even register with him until the younger man gave him a demanding kiss. He was oddly enchanted by the taste of himself on Greg's tongue, and moaned into the kiss.

"Fuck, G," he said, still panting. "Where the…how the…_fuck_!"

Greg chuckled and ran his hands up and down Nick's muscular stomach.

"I take it you like my work?" Greg asked teasingly.

"Mmm, I definitely like your work," Nick responded, his heart still racing. "You know what else I like?" He asked in a low, breathy voice. Greg smiled innocently.

Nick moved his hand down Greg's stomach and stroked the younger man through the obviously strained boxer shorts he was still wearing.

"Nick…oh…you don't have to," Greg said, trying to think coherently. "I mean, I know this is your first…_fuck_!"

He didn't get to finish his sentence before Nick snuck his hand under Greg's boxers and wrapped his bare palm around Greg. Oddly, it didn't bother Nick to feel another man's erection in his hand, he felt completely at home, like he'd done this a million times before. Nick kissed Greg's neck as he continued stroking the younger man.

"Do you mind if I…I mean…can I just…touch?" Nick whispered into Greg's ear, suddenly flushing as he felt a little ashamed of his lack of experience.

Greg kissed him. "Nick…oh…you can do whatever you want to me, whatever you feel comfortable with, just…_fuck_…please don't stop…"

Nick couldn't help a smile. "Never, G."

Nick stroked Greg's member, increasing his speed as Greg's breathing became more shallow. Greg couldn't help but buck into Nick's touch, which was increasingly more amazing than even in his fantasies. Greg could feel every part of Nick's calloused hands stroking him.

"Nick, God, _Nick_, fuck…I'm gonna come, Nick…please," Greg said, grasping the arm Nick was stroking Greg with so hard Nick was sure it was going to leave very obvious and welcomed bruises.

"Good, G," Nick said, "Come for me."

With a few more strokes, Greg screamed Nick's name and did just that, bucking his hips one last time before his seed covered Nick's hand. Nick thought he'd never seen anything as beautiful as watching Greg climax. His face flushed, his eyes shut closed, he bit his lower lip so hard Nick was afraid it would draw blood.

"Shit, Nicky," Greg said when his blood pressure returned to normal level. "I…you're…that was…incredible." The flush on his face increased when Nick smiled at him before crashing their lips together. They tasted each other thoroughly before pulling away for air.

"G…" Nick began.

Greg gave him a reassuring smile.

"I love you."

Hearing Nick say those words nearly made Greg's heart stop.

"I love you too, Nicky," He shot back without hesitation.

"No, Greg, I mean I really, _really_ love you."

Greg's eyes filled with moisture. After years of secrets, hiding, unrequited feelings, hearing Nick's words made him want to break into song.

He placed a tender kiss to Nick's lips.

"I know, baby," He said quietly. "And I'll never get tired of hearing that."

_If I traded it all,_

_If I gave it all away for one thing,_

_Wouldn't that be something? _

Fin


End file.
